What Women Need


It was a month before the court date that would finalize my divorce and I was having a full fledged panic attack. I put my tennis shoes on and ran out the front door with no thought of where I was going. All I knew was I needed to escape.

A few blocks from my house I grabbed the phone and called you. You were cooking dinner for your husband and girls. But you knew. Knew I needed you. Knew it was bad. “Where are you?” you asked followed by “I’m on my way.”

And you showed up. Found me on the side of the road, sobbing. Put me in your car and drove. I don’t remember where we went. I don’t remember what we said. I just remember that you came. You dropped everything and showed up.

Last night we sat in the nosebleed section of the arena. We were giddy school girls bursting with excitement as she took the stage. We sang and laughed and clapped and screamed. And then I cried. Cried as she sang “some time it lasts in love and some time it hurts instead.” Love had hurt me. Love had left me. And Adele gave words to my breaking heart 5 years ago as I processed divorce.

Last night we sat side by side. Me weeping, and you and Adele singing over me words that used to make my heart ache. Now those words remind me of how far Jesus has carried me.

Friendship is a hard thing. A lot of women aren’t good at it. But you are. You show up. You speak truth. You never judge. You never ask me to be small so you can feel big.

There’s not many women who genuinely cheer when other women succeed. But you tell me that you’re my biggest fan, and I believe you. You pray for me to succeed. And when I do you’re the first one to celebrate. And when I fail you’re the first one to show up with candy and a chick flick and a push to try again tomorrow.

It’s hard for strong women like us to need someone. But sometimes I do. Sometimes I need you to pick me up, dust me off, and tell me to keep killing it because I am fierce and fearless. And when you speak those words over me I don’t feel needy and weak. I feel strong.

Women need friends who build them up. We need friends sitting on the front row cheering wildly. We need someone we can say ALL the things to (yes, even those thing). We need someone who gets that life is a wild adventure to be lived and not a task to endure. We’ve got enough pressure from the world, we don’t need it from our friends.

We just need someone to show up and be real, right in the middle of our mess.

That’s friendship.

And I’m so thankful.


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