Every once in a while you meet someone and you instantly “click”. That happened for me recently when I met Suzie Eller. She’s a former Broken Girl whose life reflects the beauty that is available to us all when we allow God to mend our hearts and walk us through forgiveness.
Growing up in a dysfunctional home doesn’t set us up to be naturally good parents (if such a thing exists) but Suzie’s life proves that even broken girls can be great mamas!
Welcome our dear friend Suzie…
When your memories as a child were painful, you can become super sensitive to the words from your own children. After all, you want better for your children.
So when you try hard and they still throw a tantrum, or say “I hate you,” or embarrass you in the grocery store, you might want to take it personal.
Hey, don’t you know how much I love you!
Why are you embarrassing me?
Don’t you see what I do for you?
But this is the scoop:
Your child is a work in progress.
She has no idea of your past pain and that’s a gift. You’ve given her innocence and a childhood.
He isn’t big enough or wise enough to make your hopes for a good family come true. It’s not his job, and his shoulders aren’t big enough to carry that burden.
So, what do you do?
Mama, we take personalization out of the equation.
It’s not about you.
Your child is a little warm body with a brain that is still developing (and will be until their early twenties), and you and I have the most amazing responsibility and gift of teaching and loving and shaping them.
So, when they throw a fit in WalMart, forget the people around you. Don’t worry about what they are saying, and focus on your child. Stay calm. Be the adult.
Because this is a defining moment.
Your child has what you did not. . . a calm, reasonable, loving parent who is willing to tough it out through the bad moments.
A mama who knows that parenting is wonderful and hard.
A mama who sees this as a teachable moment so that her child can grow into the amazing adult he or she will one day be.
A mama who teaches rather than loses it.
When we don’t take it personal, we shape our children’s memories, instead of our old memories shaping our child.
I hope this will be a helpful resource: The Mom I Want to Be: Rising Above Your Past to Give Your Kids a Great Future.
Suzie is an International Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and author, former radio co-host, and Bible Gateway blogger.
She’s a woman who believes that our past shapes us, but does not limit us! (Read Suzie’s story)
She is an author of articles, columns, and seven books including her most recent books:
Most important, she’s a mom, wife, and “Gaga” to five beautiful babies.
Suzie lives in NW Arkansas and when she’s not writing or speaking, she’s with her family, or hiking, or filling the kitchen with smells of her love language of cooking.